Josiah Damarion Cole, a simple manager at a retail store, stole and held on to my heart for upwards of three years. No sex. No marriage proposal. No living together. Just dating. I was almost in my thirties with no family or children. So I made a simple request to God. The request was, before I turned thirty-one, I wanted to have a husband and a child on the way. So far, the only man that could make that happen was Josiah. Dorris Wedding affordable bridesmaid wears for wedding party
Dad, Mom and stepmom, Regina, had thrown their fair share of hints at him about marriage. Yet they were met with no response. I wondered to myself if he had made some pact of his own, that he would never get married. And beside that point, I had NEVER experienced the joy and bliss of sex! So I put a plan in place, to have it all.
JC showed up at my house one evening for a normal visit. I had already showered and purposely put on a nightgown that was very revealing. "Oh I didn't expect you to come over!" I exclaimed, knowing good and well that was his routine.
"I was just checking to make sure things were fine with you." He came in. I wish I had a camera because the look on his face told a story of a man that hungered after me. And I was wanting to give all of me to him. He just had to do one little thing.
"Come on in, I was just doing a little cleaning." I told him as I walked away from the door. The nightgown I was wearing was short enough to reveal the top of my thighs and almost my butt.
"So you're cleaning in your nightgown now!?" He said. He never stopped looking at me. It was almost like one of those cartoons that eyes pop out of the character. You could just imagine that happening to Josiah.
"Um... you know you got your um... stuff out." He said nervous to say anything.
"Oh do I? I am so sorry! I just didn't expect company tonight. Let me go get dressed so you won't be tempted do try anything." I ran to my room, making sure my gown would pop up, and put on some old pajamas that wouldn't reveal anything. I went back into the room and his expression changed completely. I, knowingly, asked him, "What's wrong?"
"Nothing. Just nothing." His tone of voice changed also.
"Come here, sit down, tell me about your day." I sat on the couch with my baggy pants and long sleeved top. The only thing revealed at that point was my head, feet and hands.
"Well, it was a pretty easy day. Nothing real dramatic happened, except for Ms. Jackson."
"What she do hun?"
"Just loud and crazy as usual."
He stayed for a good hour as we talked about our respective days. I let him know how well the new store that Nerd and Destiny had opened was doing. He in turn asked me when they were going to officially meet. Retrospectively, Nathan and Destiny were the ones in my family that he had never met. At that time, they were expecting their third child. Destiny had some complications and had been put on bed rest.
I began looking at my hands. Throwing him a hint, I spoke. "Ugh, I never realized how old my hands look without rings on them."
"Your hands aren't ugly." He said as he giggled a little bit.
"Yes they are. You don't have to look at them all the time. Look at this hand," I showed him my left hand. "See the wrinkles starting to form."
He examined it, each finger one by one. I made it a point to show my ring finger, in hopes that he would catch what I was telling him. Still nothing. Not even a hint of him wanting to move us forward.
Josiah left that evening and I was frustrated. I'm not sure if it was the lack of sex or the complacency in our relationship but I knew something had to give. I just lay on the couch, scrolling through different pictures of wedding gowns and cakes. It was all in hopes that the man who was supposed to be my knight in shining armor, would realize that we needed to take the next step, or I would take my next step. Away.