Im looking for a wedding date. My brother is getting married so I need a date. Yes you read that correctly, and yes this is 100% serious....hard to believe?! Trust me I know! Still reading? In anticipation of your questions Ive developed a short FAQs section below.
When is the wedding? December 31, 2017...
Where is the wedding? Los Angles, California
Kyle, ......What's in it for me?
* Round trip airfare (probably flying United so....fighting skills maybe needed)
* Chance to see some mad dance skills
* An excuse to dress up (I'll be wearing Armani)
* New Years in Cali!
* A 96.6% chance of seeing several famous people
* After party at one of the most exclusive clubs in Cali
* Limo ride
* Fine dining
* True love
* New Years in Cali
* All inclusive paid trip to LA
* Royalties once our night's story is developed into a romantic comedy*
*if this happens (I estimate the chances at 82%) I refuse the right to let Ashton Kutcher play my character however, i will consider him for a supporting role.
AGAIN THIS IS 100% serious!
So Kyle what are you like?
Oh me? I'm 33, dashingly tall, Anglo-Saxon, respectfully athletic, great sense of humor, completely house trained, relaxed, passionate, smell great, financially stable, clean up nice, will promise to shave, love my mother, have seen The Notebook several times, controversial, provocative, short-sighted (with a big picture mentality), raw, emotional
What should us ladies be like?
You should be attractive or some relatives will judge you, but not TOO attractive or one of my uncles might grope you. You should be relaxed and easy going as I'll probably make up flattering lies about you on the spot. You should own a dress, or be able to acquire one because I don't have any. If (when) you respond you should send some pictures of yourself so I know you've met the above requirements. Feel free to include a resume; this is a classy wedding and I'm looking for well-rounded women. Be interesting and unique don't be afraid to make yourself stand out! Sexy Prom Dresses 2020
This feels kinda creepy, are you a Craigslist killer?
No. Well, if you want to be techni.. nevermind. No, I'm not. I just genuinely want to do something different and I don't see any other way to approach it.
What would verify our normalness? Facebook? Instagram?
We can have a pre-date screening (interview) prior to the wedding and play 20 questions over a couple of cocktails if you'd like?
I'm IN! What now?
First off -- smart thinking. Email me send along some pictures, information, high school athletic stats, questions, etc. We'll take it from there.